Walking with God

A few weeks ago, my flatmate told me she was planning a week away. I told her while I was happy to look after her cat, Zeus, I have no obligation to look after the stray cat, Loudmouth, that she feeds. She said Loudmouth will be fine. I said he'll probably find someone else to feed him. The reason why I didn't like Loudmouth was because he used to come in through the window and eat Zeus's food and Zeus would just sit there and let him. Because he's a stray, I didn't want him bringing in fleas. My flatmate assured me he won't come in if he's fed. Before my flatmate left yesterday for her holidays, I asked her where she kept Loudmouth's food, in case I have a change of heart. She showed me the cupboard where she kept Loudmouth's wet and dry food. She also said Loudmouth usually comes round at 7am. I laughed and told her Loudmouth has got her well trained. At 6.50 am this morning,  I noticed Loudmouth was already at the back door waiting while Zeus was ...

A work colleague and I were sharing fun horror stories about looking for places to rent and flatsharing in London.  She's in her twenties and originally from Germany, but now lives in London. I told her about when I was looking for a flat to share with a friend. We went to look at this flat above a shop. The rooms were a good size. Although there was this gaping hole in the living room, we decided we could live with that. The kitchen was not only tiny, there was an actual bath in the kitchen. My friend and I joked that while she's cooking, I could be taking a bath. When the landlord returned, he asked us what we thought about the flat. My friend and I replied in unison, "We'll let you know." We then literally ran out of the flat and burst out laughing.  We couldn't believe the landlord seriously expected people to live in that flat? "Why didn't you tell him the truth?" my colleague asked me. "We had to be polite, it's the British way,...